I’ve heard it said numerous times that life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we respond. And although I don’t know the exact percentages, I do agree with the overall sentiment of the saying. One thing that’s important to remember about this principle, though, is that it not only applies to how we respond in the moment, but also to how we choose to respond to things that have already passed.

Regardless of what’s happened to us in the past, we still have to choose how we’re going to think about those things. Because it’s not just about what happened to us then, but also about the meaning we give to those things now. Will we choose to see them through the lens of what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown as a result? Or, we will we allow the pain and missteps of the past to continue to hinder us in the present?

This doesn’t mean we minimize or whitewash the past. But it does mean we take responsibility for how we choose to relate to it. Because although we can’t change the past, we can choose how we’ll respond to it whenever it crosses our mind.