There’s a big difference between saying no and saying yes, although the two are directly related. To say yes to the things we want to say yes to requires saying no to things that are less essential.
The trick is understanding that saying no is not about what we give up, but about what it allows us to engage in._ _As Greg McKeown has said,
“Essentialists see trade-offs as an inherent part of life, not as an inherently negative part of life. Instead of asking, ‘What do I have to give up?’ they ask, ‘What do I want to go big on?'”
In focusing on what’s essential, the issue is not what we say no to, but what we say yes to. To only focus on what we’re giving up is to miss the point. And once we see the point—that saying no to some things allows us to go all in on other things—it becomes easier to actually say no.