There’s a big difference between thinking I “deserve” something, and in seeing myself as “responsible” for it.
Someone may think they deserve a good marriage, a good job, or a good education. But simply feeling that they deserve it does nothing to actually help them experience it.
If our posture, though, is one of responsibility — how am I responsible for what I want to see happen — then our focus shifts from whether we deserve it or not, to what we can actually be doing to move in that direction.
If I want a good marriage, I’m responsible for investing into that relationship. If I want a certain career, I’m responsible for developing the skills need to move in that direction. If I want a good education, I’m responsible for being diligent in my studies.
When we view our lives through the lens of what others owe us (or what we think they owe us), not only are we bound to be disappointed, but we shift our focus away from things we can control. When we think in terms of personal responsibility, though, we turn the focus back to things within our power — things like our attitudes and actions — which in turn profoundly affect how we experience life.
No, we may not always get what we want, or what we think we deserve. But choosing to view things from a perspective of responsibility puts us in a position to actually affect the outcome, instead of simply waiting for someone else to do so for us.
H/T – Dr. John Townsend talks about this theme on Entreleader Podcast #170: Fighting Entitlement at Work and at Home