We like to say that we don’t get to choose our parents, that they were given by chance — yet, we can truly choose whose children we wish to be. —Seneca

Have you ever met someone for the first time, and immediately could guess which family they were a part of? Perhaps their facial features or mannerisms were dead give aways to who they were related to.

There are some things in life we have no control over — like the parents or guardians we had growing up — and sometimes these factors leave profound marks on who we become as we grow. Take our genetics, for example. We each inherit certain genes from our parents, and we can’t change them. Our hair color, eye color, even our height (I know this one first hand), were affected by things we had no say in.

But though we may not be able to change our genetic characteristics, there are other factors that we can control. Some areas of our life — like our attitudes and perspectives — were undoubtedly shaped by our parents and guardians growing up. But as we grow, we will also be influenced by the people we choose to be in contact with.

The friends we spend time with, the authors we read, the artists we listen to — all of these, and many others, have the power to impact the direction and shape of our lives. They may not be part of our physical ancestry, but they can still leave a lasting mark on us, nonetheless.

Whether we like it or not, other people will have an affect on who we become. The question is, are we being intentional about who these influences will be? Who or what are we allowing to shape how we think and act? There are many things we can’t control, but we do have a say in who or what we give our attention.

Which leads us to the question: Whose child are you becoming? Not in a biological sense — that was settled long ago — but in regards to your thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Whose influence is visible in the way you live your life, and how you interact with others?

We only have two biological parents, but our lives can — and will — also be shaped by many others. May we choose wisely who they will be.