Have you ever had those moments where you were certain you were right, and then, in a flash, realized you had made a mistake? Or when something that was so “obvious” turns out not to be? Or when what you were “sure” of turns out to be wrong?
I just experienced something along these lines not too long ago. It was in regards to some medical bills, and at the time I was sure I was right. I knew how much we had paid, and what the balance should have been. And so I couldn’t understand why the other party seemed to not see what was so obvious to me.
And then there came the moment when I realized they were actually right. It was somewhat complicated, but after going over the various records several times, I finally realized what had happened, and what I had missed in my understanding of the situation.
I hate the feeling that comes with that realization. Yes, it’s good to get things cleared up, but there’s also the sting that comes from realizing that I had been so “sure” of something, only to find out I had failed to understand what was really going on.
Thankfully, this was a relatively minor incident in the bigger scheme of life, but this kind of thing can happen in all kinds of areas. We can be pretty sure — even positively sure — we know something, only to find out later that we didn’t.
For instance, we may look at someone and assume we know who they are, and what they’re about. But sometimes our estimation is based solely on what others have said, or what we’ve seen from afar. And once we get to know them, we may find out that our initial thoughts were totally wrong.
Or we may think we know what’s going on in a certain situation, not realizing there are other (unknown to us) factors contributing to the decisions we’re seeing. And later, when we find out what was really happening behind the scenes, we realize we totally misjudged the entire thing.
Sometimes we may even have a partially correct evaluation of what’s going on, and yet come to learn later that it was nevertheless incomplete.
Because of this, learning to hold our positions in a posture of humility is an important quality to have. We’re bound to have incomplete knowledge of the people or situations we find ourselves around, so we shouldn’t underestimate our ability to get some things wrong from time to time.
One question that can be valuable to ask ourselves is simply, What would it take for me to change my mind? Is there anything that could be said or done or proved that would cause me to change what I think about this topic or situation? Because if there isn’t, that says something in itself.
Sometimes it feels like this is totally unnecessary — that what we think or hold dear is incontrovertible. And while we may be right in some cases, it’s also important to remember that at times we may have incomplete, or erroneous information.
Remembering this can help us hold our positions with humility, which in turn can help us be more open to accepting whatever additional evidence we encounter — even if it goes against what we thought we knew.
This posture of humility can also keep us from doing or saying things we might later regret if we come to find out that what we’re so sure about turns out to not be so.